Social Media Facades: Peaks vs. Pits

 
Has social media ever given you anxiety?
My answer is a big ole’ YES!
As I’m scrolling through pinned meal ideas on some downtime (downtime, what’s that right? lol) to slap on my Pinterest board, I think, “Oh, that’s so cute. Such a great idea. I should do that!” Then, when I don’t actually make the perfect meatloaf and we get fast food instead, I feel as if I failed. After that, I move on to outfit options and think, “Oh, I wish I had the money to afford that entire outfit!” Then, when I don’t ever get the funds, I feel as if I need another side job. I’m sure you are understanding this pattern.

After I’ve gotten much inspiration from Pinterest, but don’t have enough hours in my day, enough energy, or enough funds to accomplish my pins…I move on to Facebook/Twitter. As I go down through each status/share/tweet/picture it is easy to think, “Their day was so much better than mine.” or “I need to cook every night like they do.” or “I should really start exercising like she does.” or “Their house is so much cleaner than mine.” I’m sure you are understanding this pattern, too.

Once I’ve had enough from the status updates and tweets, I overload myself on complete strangers’ pictures on Instagram where I have the chance to feel even more pathetic.

Which brings me to share my favorite article of the moment and my reason for writing this post… It is from Relevant Magazine and is titled “Instagram’s Envy Effect.” Here are some very relatable quotes from the article:
I keep having the same conversation over and over. It starts like this: “I gave up Facebook for Lent, and I realized I’m a lot happier without it.” or like this, “Pinterest makes me hate my house.” or like this: “I stopped following a friend on Instagram, and now that I don’t see nonstop snapshots of her perfect life, I like her better.”
Yikes. This is a thing. This is coming up in conversation after conversation.  
The danger of the internet is that it’s very very easy to tell partial truths 
  • show the fabulous meal but not the mess to clean up afterward
  • display the smiling couple-shot, but not the fight you had three days ago
  • offer up the sparkly milestones but not the spiraling meltdowns.

I mean, really think about what you post online. Normally it’s of your child’s beaming smile, not screams of a tantrum…Workouts at the gym, not stuffing your face in your pjs…Beautifully put together outfits/makeup, not shower-less/makeup-less/throw your dirty hair in a hat/sweatpants don’t match your t-shirt moments…

Right?????
Well, I can only speak for myself…so YES, AMEN to all of the above!
I’m sure we’ve all shared some of the downer, “pits” in our day before. Like a makeup-less face smile, or a picture of a tantrum-ing child that we can’t not laugh at.  But I’m talking about the big picture of your social medias. I am {two hands raised} guilty for posting my “peak” moments instead of my “pit” moments of each day.
I want you to know that you are not alone in the partial truths of online life.
My biggest fault while striving to be a Proverbs 31 {working} woman is housework. My laundry piles up until I don’t have anything left to wear.  My floors are normally caked with doggy paw-prints and toddler messes. My dishes are usually piled up until we need a clean plate. Well, you get the picture. I am sooooo far off from being the perfect housekeeper. But, do I post the piled up laundry, dirty dishes, and messy floors? Of course not. How embarrassing! Right?

This was a month or two ago when I was planning on sharing my “not so perfect” housekeeping skills. Nice, eh?
See, I told you laundry is my nemesis.
#Proverbs31WomanEpicFail
Well, friends, there it is. I want you to understand that no matter how much you think a person has perfect days filled with mornings of Starbucks, lunches with friends, afternoons of Pilates, and evenings of bible studies…

No one is perfect, only Jesus.

So, if no one is perfect, why do we want things perceived that way?

We are human! We feel a sense of achievement/belonging/love when people give us positive feedback. Which means posting my dirty dishes might not get me the response that I may deep down want.

Do not get my point of sharing only “peaks” confused with completely faking “peak” moments just so people believe you to be a person you are not!

Don't be tempted to pretend.
“Don’t pretend to live one way like the Pharisees do out in public for everyone to see and yet live a different life in private.” -Angela, Good Morning Girls

Does this mean I should stop posting “peaks”? As long as they are truthful, NO! I will continue to share the things that honestly make me happy. However, my goal now is to share the reality of “pits” more often to encourage others that life happens, good and bad.

remember quote


I am far from perfect, but I know who is and I want to intentionally share that reality more.
Here is a fabulous article with this same message by Angela of Good Morning Girls: My Non-Perfect Life. She shares an embarrassing “pit” of a moment that most moms can relate to.
I encourage you to not get overwhelmed by comparing others’ “peak” moments online with “pits” of the reality you may be in. Just remember:
“We check in with our phones when it seems like nothing fun is happening in our own lives—when we’re getting our oil changed or waiting for the coffee to brew.
It makes sense, then, that anyone else’s fun or beauty or sparkle gets under our skin. It magnifies our own dissatisfaction with that moment. When you’re waiting for your coffee to brew, the majority of your friends probably aren’t doing anything any more special.
But it only takes one friend at the Eiffel Tower to make you feel like a loser.”
-Revelant Magazine

I challenge you to be the same person offline as you portray online.  Don’t get caught up in putting up a facade of perfection. Live everyday remembering that God knows your heart and wants you to share how He has worked through you in not only your “peaks,” but most importantly your “pits.”

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15 Comments

  1. April 17, 2013 / 8:03 pm

    Amen!!! I can definitely relate to this. For me, I had to delete my Facebook account because it ate up a lot of time but also had me comparing myself to others who had seemingly “perfect” lives. I am so much more content now. I appreciate you sharing the truth with this post!

  2. April 17, 2013 / 9:12 pm

    AMEN. Preach it girlfriend. Although social media has so many positives, I often see that as a negative. I think I will post some of my “pits” more often as well 🙂

    • April 18, 2013 / 10:01 am

      Cassie,

      I agree with you that social media has so much positivity! I love this technology generation we live in! Sometimes we just get caught up in it all. 🙂

      xoxo

  3. April 18, 2013 / 6:10 pm

    AMen, Amen, Amen and AMen!!! This spoke so much truth, thank you for shedding light girlfriend!! I am convicted and raising my hand. Social Media can steal your time, I can attest to that. I’ve been off facebook for a couple of years now , twitter since last year and I love it! Honestly, yes I do feel left out sometimes, but you know what it doesn’t bother me anymore. I’m an old fashion kinda girl and love a good one on one face to face talk. It drove me nuts when people would only say Hi on facebook but not face to face. I mean pick up the phone. Sorry venting a little here. Anyway, you spoke truth and thank you for being you and being transparent. Don’t change girl! This is very encouraging…very real
    Blessings,
    Adrienne

  4. April 18, 2013 / 7:14 pm

    AMEN!! Oh, I am right there with you in the peaks vs. pits! It really is soooo tempting, and then sooo easy to get down and feel inadequate and inferior. Thanks for the reminder to be real and to make sure I’ve got my eyes on the only One who is perfect and all-together lovely and put together. 🙂

  5. April 20, 2013 / 5:46 pm

    Amen, Amen! I have to comment on this because I have been feeling this way too! In fact just wrote a post about it a couple weeks ago. It is so easy to think that a person has their life all together based on what they post on their social media sites… and I have to confess, I post all the peaks most of the time as well! I don’t want to be the reason why someone feels insecure or thinks I have it all together..because I definitely don’t. Thank you for being so transparent and honest. It is so encouraging. Love your blog!

    • April 24, 2013 / 8:32 am

      We only see a small part of someone’s life, yet we base so much off of it. So happy to have your comment and encouragement! xoxo

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