I am soooo excited to start this Good Morning Girls bible study today! Loving Like Jesus is the current GMG study and I grow in my relationship with Christ every time I join one. Click HERE to see my last study and links I share to help you organize your material. 🙂
This week’s focus went straight for my jugular, my ultimate weakness.
We all do things we need forgiveness for. We are human. Everyday Jesus chooses to forgive me. This is just one of many ways He shows his love and mercy. If I want to love others as Christ loves me, then I have to start forgiving as He does. Soooooo much easier said than done.
A huge part of me is eager to forgive and move on from the hurt caused by other humans— my spouse, my friends, my family, my coworkers, etc… But there is the flawed side of me that secretly holds grudges. Some grudges are held with my knowledge and some grudges have reappeared after long periods of time thinking I had gotten over the issue. It’s a sick joke, really. I feel that flawed part of me is just belly laughing at my sincere side as her jaw hits the floor in shock of the resurfacing ugly emotions. So frustrating to realize that I didn’t accomplish forgiveness, yet again.
The only one this cycle effects is me.
As my relationship with the Lord strengthens, I’ve noticed this cycle slowly coming to an end, but my biggest hurdle to jump is trust. This is because of being hurt by the same person(s) multiple times. It ends up affecting my whole outlook on forgiveness and the cycle roars on by me not fully forgiving that person(s) ever again. I have tried to fake forgiveness by ignoring hurtful words/actions… but…
The bible says:
God doesn’t just ignore when I ask him to forgive me of my sins. He shows me mercy at the times when deserve it the absolute least. He doesn’t hold a grudge because of my past mistakes. He doesn’t look to prove my wrong doings to share with others. He doesn’t use my sins to make himself look better… He simply listens, loves, and forgives.
I’m guilty of all of the above and it ends up backfiring and making my relationship with God weaker and weaker. This quote from GMG in their Week 1 blog post really spoke to me:
When I choose to hold on to a grudge, no matter how big or small, I end up showing God that I don’t fully trust Him. But…When I choose to REALLY forgive, I’m showing God that mustard seed of faith. Angela said it best at the end of this short clip… “It’s not the amount of faith…It’s the genuineness of the faith.”
I pray you guide me through this forgiveness thing. May I show just a tiny seed of genuine faith rather than a heap full of meaningless faith.